So this is the year – 2017, where I feel, finally, that I have my act together (um, mostly!)
I’m not going to lie, it’s been a very long process – 5.4 years to be exact. What with the twins starting school this week (YES, I CAN BELIEVE IT, I’VE BEEN DREAMING OF THIS DAY!) How I didn’t have multiple back to back breakdowns over the years, astounds me. When I look back at the past 5 years, with juggling appointments, school, kindy, work, family life and friends… I’m not sure how I got through it. The marriage is still intact, but it wasn’t easy and still isn’t. The difference is now, we have just begun a new phase of our life – ‘school mum & dad”, we both like it and we’ve had a conversation IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY face to face, without any children around! We generally correspond via email 😉
Below is how I will make 2017 a bit kinder to myself…
MY MENTAL HEALTH CARE PLAN – I book in to see my GP to get this plan which allows for 10 sessions for a psychologist that are for the upcoming year. Some psychologists bulk bill so you pay no gap. Mental Health Care Plans are amazing and I can’t believe not everyone has one! They will save your sanity…. You get to talk to someone, completely impartial to your set of circumstances. Even if you just need a ‘pep’ talk once a year – it’s worth it. Mental health is so important, we are all stressed – I have yet to meet someone who says ‘yeah, I’m doing great, I’m relaxed!’
- My brother used to be that person who I got some of his relaxed energy vibes from… but he’s a dad now, so that’s gone out the window!
CHRONIC HEALTH CARE PLANS – This one is for the kids and is needed for Medicare rebates for specialist appointments. I get this from the GP, at the same time I get my Mental Health Care Plan. These range from physiotherapists, speech therapists, occupational therapists etc. With the twins I need both now. For Mr Danger and his range of specialists for his needs, and now with his twin sister, who needs it for her Global Development Delay. You get about $50 back from Medicare and can choose your own specialist to suit you.
- A top GP is invaluable – they will listen to you, get to know your family and refer you to a specialist when need be. Saves so much time not having to repeat the same story!
PUT MY SCRIPTS ON FILE – I vow to get better at this and will put all our scripts on file. The service is great, there are apps and mobile text messages that remind you when you are running low on meds. I am forever getting to the last drop in the bottle and having to race to the chemist for another bottle, or to the doctor for another script.
- Between you and me, I also bloody forget to action the text… ! So I’m that person that smiles sweetly at the Chemist and says ‘please sir, can I have some more?’ I then get an ‘owing script’, which means I can take the bottle of meds, then go back the next day with the script from the doctor (if I have run out from the Scripts on File!) When a bottle last 2 weeks, they get to know your face!
FIND YOUR PEOPLE – I will expand on this more later, but FIND YOUR PEOPLE – people that get you. I don’t want to always talk about my kids, they are bloody annoying at times! My blog space is just for that, but there is more to life than just one facet. I know I’m not the only one that is overwhelmed with the pressure that comes in life of all the different roles we have – for both women and men. Wife/Partner, Employee/Employer, Sister/Brother, Mother/Father, Therapist etc etc. Most people sincerely want to help me, and I have learned over time that you need to direct people to help you in the way that is within their capabilities too. I can’t expect someone to change a nappy on a 5 year old when they haven’t changed one in years – it’s not fair on them, or Mr Danger. Plus you’ll never win, he will make you chase him!
- Too many times I have had to remind therapists, that I am actually the mum and not the therapist, and for them to please remember and respect that. A good therapist won’t even cross that boundary but at times you meet those that assume you have all the time in the world to implement strategies that work well in a controlled environment – as in a therapy room, but not so much in the family home!
KEEP IT IN PERSPECTIVE – It’s a bad day/week/month not a bad life – A very good friend reminded me of this last year when I had hit a brick will emotionally, and subsequently ended up in bed for 3 days straight. I was done. I put out that call to help and she answered. I understand that people are busy with keeping their own children alive, so not everyone is available all the time. I figure when the time is right, the right person will come to me and she did. She reminded me that it wouldn’t last and she was right, the next week had improved considerably – when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up, right!
DRIVE THROUGH BOTTLE SHOP – I love living in Australia. I was born in England and miss my family (Grandparents, first cousins, Aunties, Uncles and friends) but I was fortunate enough to go across over the years, and even live there for a bit in my 20’s. I had the best of both worlds, because as time has gone on, plenty of people have come across to visit us DownUnder. Even recently, at Christmas time, friends & family came across and met the twins for the first time (and subsequently, second time!). You can bet if you stay with us, I’ll be taking you through the drive-through bottle shop. It is nearly as good as the drive-through coffee shop!
- No one can deny, that it’s pure bliss, to drive ‘through’ and shop for your tipple. I like to keep the windows down so Mr Danger can throw his shoes at me. A sympathetic nod is always given to me from the attendant, and away I go, free from judgement.
AND A WORLD WITHOUT JUDGEMENT IS ONE I DO LOVE TO LIVE IN, EVEN FOR A BRIEF TIME